I recently found myself surrounded by a relocation spree.  Two friends of mine, who have been dealing with life’s upsets, have decided to hit the reset button.  One is returning home and the other has chosen a brand new beginning.  I couldn’t help but notice that both of these individuals made a series of poor choices that lead to their current situations.  From the outside I wonder if their need to flee is based on the hopes of a rebirth, reconnection with the self they’ve lost or simply panic.  As time has passed I’ve listened to their complaints and feelings of frustration grow into a daily chant.  Has the choice to move finally given them the sense of control they’ve been missing? After all, in a life full of doubt, frustration and disappointment, a drastic change is very attractive.  And can be extremely healthy; as long as escapism isn’t the objective.

My concern begins to grow when their words fail to connect with the opportunity laid out before them.  I want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them while asking, “What lessons have your mistakes taught you and what choices have you made to foster a better future?  You have made changes already, right?  You’re not going to wait until the state line to figure this out, right?”  Many times I’ve listened to a person unleash their verbal frustrations about an offender, but I find that it’s riddled with hypocrisy.  The individual is laying out their expectations of how someone should, or should have, behave(d), but yet, that individual has failed to realize his biggest student, is himself.  

Moving for atonement only works if you’ve taken the time to find the root cause of your issues, change it, or yourself and forgive (yourself or others).  A year from now, when they find themselves in similar situations, complaining to friends and comparing it to the past… Will he stop and ask himself, “What did I do to end up here, again?”  Like Buckaroo Banzai said, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

My only hope is that they’ve already made the changes necessary, and can truly enjoy the happiness, and freedom, they’re seeking.

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