Tag Archive: friendships


My LapTop Is a Bitch!

I learned today that my laptop has jealously issues. It doesn’t like when I multi-task. Whenever I pick up my BlackBerry and focus on whatever the BlackBerry has to share with me, the laptop goes into standby mode, shuts off and pouts. Before I am able to get back into its good graces I have to turn it back on and sign into it, proving that I’m committed to it.

This seams like a whole lot of nonsense to me! Maggie, that’s what I’ll call my laptop at the moment, shouldn’t be such a bitch. It’s only a BlackBerry, I love you both just the same. Quit freaking out! Then I got to thinking about this some more. Why does Maggie get pissy and shut down if I don’t show her any affection for 5 minutes? The answer is simple, somewhere along the way she was programmed to behave this way. After fondling her settings for a little while, she is now satisfied to wait for 20 minutes before storming off and giving me the silent treatment.

Fixing this was easy, but finding where a person was programmed to react to something is much more difficult and can be painful to watch. Especially when that person is someone you care about. From the outside, I can see straight to the source of the frustrations, but I lack the ability to play with the settings. I lack the intelligence of finding the perfect string of words to explain a possible solution. Instead, I offer the words I know and hope that it’s helpful. I offer the best hug I have, I hope it seals in my words and support.

Life is a series of events, new and old, and they all come together a thousand times a day. Sometimes they’re perfectly connected and fit together easily. Other times the pieces fit together after you’ve maimed them with a hacksaw and used a nail gun to keep them in place. But, most of them just kind of fit. They’re not all flawlessly cut to perfection and laid out, some have holes, some have uneven edges and others just float there. And that is okay.

These events are your story. It’s up to you to make it a beautiful story or a tragedy. So, with my best hug and a slap on the ass… Get out there and make it a beautiful story!

Advertisements

I recently found myself surrounded by a relocation spree.  Two friends of mine, who have been dealing with life’s upsets, have decided to hit the reset button.  One is returning home and the other has chosen a brand new beginning.  I couldn’t help but notice that both of these individuals made a series of poor choices that lead to their current situations.  From the outside I wonder if their need to flee is based on the hopes of a rebirth, reconnection with the self they’ve lost or simply panic.  As time has passed I’ve listened to their complaints and feelings of frustration grow into a daily chant.  Has the choice to move finally given them the sense of control they’ve been missing? After all, in a life full of doubt, frustration and disappointment, a drastic change is very attractive.  And can be extremely healthy; as long as escapism isn’t the objective.

My concern begins to grow when their words fail to connect with the opportunity laid out before them.  I want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them while asking, “What lessons have your mistakes taught you and what choices have you made to foster a better future?  You have made changes already, right?  You’re not going to wait until the state line to figure this out, right?”  Many times I’ve listened to a person unleash their verbal frustrations about an offender, but I find that it’s riddled with hypocrisy.  The individual is laying out their expectations of how someone should, or should have, behave(d), but yet, that individual has failed to realize his biggest student, is himself.  

Moving for atonement only works if you’ve taken the time to find the root cause of your issues, change it, or yourself and forgive (yourself or others).  A year from now, when they find themselves in similar situations, complaining to friends and comparing it to the past… Will he stop and ask himself, “What did I do to end up here, again?”  Like Buckaroo Banzai said, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

My only hope is that they’ve already made the changes necessary, and can truly enjoy the happiness, and freedom, they’re seeking.